Dead & gone, hot & cold.

Hey guys, did you notice the title of this post actually represents two different songs? (Dead and gone by Justin Timberlake and T.I, Hot and cold by Katy Perry) In case if you're wondering, well, I haven't been updating my blog for literally a month and POP, Here I am, I'm back once again. So TA-DA, there goes the title. Lame? MEH? Hmm.. okay nevermind.

So, just a spontaneous and quick update here. "How are you sapphy?", "I'm fine thanks. Still alive, I'm grateful and thankful for it." lewl.
Life in college have been quite hectic and productive lately, and it is probably one of the reasons why I stopped blogging for a while. Handing in assignments almost every week is no fun and seriously I need a god damn break, I freaking mean it. Have some mercy on me and my classmates man, don't torture us degree student. Just kidding. LOL. Anyway, classes this week had been pretty productive. I went out with my classmates after class and we had lunch, watched movie, did some shopping as usual. I'm pretty content with my life the way it is now and it is no doubt that my current life is way better and peaceful than the previous one. However, I still need to be strong and conquer my fears and insecurities. There are plenty of things ahead of me and I hope I have enough strength to go through all that. Sincerely.

Also, an instant update about my Valentines day and Chinese New Year. Marc surprised me with a bouquet of pink roses along with Charles & Keith purse. I was quite excited and happy when I received the gifts. Whereby my gift for Marc was self-baked chicken pot pie and a classic grey tie from Padini. We both sorta enjoyed our Valentines day together. Overall, it was a simple and good celebration, I truly enjoyed it.

My Chinese New Year was pretty ordinary and decent. I remember sending my elder brother off to KLIA on the 2nd day of CNY was quite depressing. Me and my family got emotional because we knew it's gonna be different without him here at home. However, it was for the best and I hope he's gonna do well in UK. Speaking of my elder bro, yes, I do miss him a lot even though sometimes we disagree on most things and argue. He's still the best brother in my heart and no one could ever replace him. 

*clears throat* Okay now back to the CNY topic. So overall what I enjoyed most during CNY was the delicious food and time spent with family and relatives. Me and my relatives don't really communicate much due to the language barrier and mentality. Usually, I have to converse with them in Cantonese and Hokkien which I totally sucked at. Despite that, we still enjoyed the quality time together because it's a once in a while thing, we don't really get that often. So, that's about it for my awesome Chinese New Year.

....And that's the end of my "Dead & Gone, Hot & Cold" post....

Have a lovely Saturday, my fellow readers!

My first chicken pot pie

So, Valentines day was just around the corner. I decided to get outta my comfort zone and try to make something new and different for my boyfriend, as well as the family. (Family needs some love on Valentines too! haha)

To bake a chicken pot pie requires a lot of patience, time, and effort. I remember spending literally 2 days just to create the perfect pie crust. Overall, I'd say it was a success based on my family and boyfie's reviews and comments. They liked the taste of the inner ingredients, however the pie crusts need some improvements because it was a little hard and not-so-crunchy. But hey, it's my first attempt folks! I'm so proud of myself for the unexpected outcome! Pretty good for the first time huh. heh. 

Some of my friends asked me, "where did you learn to bake that?". Well, just in case if you're wondering if I have some experience in baking and such. Yes, I have a little but not professional! I basically get all the recipes from Google and YouTube, and I started baking due to my interest and the influences from my respective mum. 

Also, if you're wondering which website I got the recipe from, there you go.

♥ PIE CRUST - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AsWQGFqfac

♥ FILLING (CHICKEN) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIhnDmG4iPM

Have a good day lovelies! x

Music is my life

I remember dad played the guitar when I was very young and he used to sing and play all the sentimental old songs in the car whenever we're on a trip or something. Yes, I was raised in a family who taught me to enjoy music and I developed my musical skills and talent through old hits and old movie soundtracks. When people ask me "Hey, do you listen to 90's or 80's?","Of course, name me any bands or songs back then." I used to fancy Cyndi Lauper, Bee-Gees, Abba, Oasis, Elton John, and Madonna.

So, the story of my life.. I started learning piano when I was 4 yrs old, and singing spontaneously when I was 6 or 7. I remember every weekend, my parents would send me to piano or music classes. I stopped learning piano around grade 5 and at the age of 17. Reason was I needed to focus on SPM, but that didn't stop me to continue singing and playing the piano. Britney spears, Christina Aguilera, Blue, Hilary Duff and Kelly Clarkson were my favorite singers back then. I remember back in those days I used to purchase their CD's and listen to them with my old CD walkman. Well, I'm not sure if the kids in this generation know what a CD walkman is. Lol. But life was much more simpler and easier back then.

Music and art were my life when I was a little girl. On my 9th year old birthday, I received a huge box of crayons from my parents and I already felt like the happiest girl. Not only that I developed my musical talent and interests, also my drawing skills. But unfortunately, I stopped drawing after I reached the age of 14 or 15, reason was I grew up and I realized I enjoy singing and playing the piano even more. When I reached high school, I was encouraged by my elder brother to join the choir. I gotta admit, Catholic choir was one of the top choirs in Kuala Lumpur and I remember winning 1st or 2nd place in district and state areas was my greatest achievement back then. It's undeniable that I had plenty of issues in high school like friendship, family, result, and relationship.. and choir was the one thing that light up my life.
Apart from that, I participated in a few singing auditions and performances outside like Digi Youth audition, performances organized by some music schools, and many more. I would sing Avril Lavigne, Kelly Clarkson, Rihanna, Christina Aguilera songs or duet with my elder brother. One of the memorable performances was dueting with my elder brother, we sang "The prayer" and it was amazing. The audiences gave us a round of applause.

When I reached college, I joined and participated in some music audition and performances. Back in 2012, I participated in "Segi Idol" and made it into top 10. I had so much fun meeting some new friends who are so talented. Some of them are so good on stage and seriously, to compare myself with them, I think they are way more talented and better. (Self esteem drop) *sobs* HAHA. But it's alright, that doesn't stop me from being myself and improving my vocal and stage performance.

Anyway ladies and gentlemen, I know it's a little long but I hope you enjoyed reading my story.
I'd like to let you guys know.. "Don't waste your talent or ability.. Cherish and use them wisely because they are the assets that set you apart and make you stand out from the rest. Keep fighting and improving to be better because they make you a unique person" Smile. :)

Real insecurities

So, this week  is the beginning of new semester, and apparently most of us have already started planning our groups for assignments. Unfortunately, I felt sick and feverish today so I ended up staying home and sleep instead. When I woke up, my friends told me they all had their own groups for assignments and that drove me absolutely panic and worried because as you know, I didn't attend the class due to fever and I don't have a group for assignments. So, I immediately picked up my phone and called my other classmates and see if their groups have slots. I ended up joining a group because apparently they are the only group who still have empty slots. 

Yes, I was feeling a little negative after knowing that I'm gonna be with an unfamiliar group for assignment. Plus the last semester I had some conflicts with my old group mates, I'm just really worried that they might do something really terrible to me this semester. I know I shouldn't care too much of what others gonna think about me but this is just my insecurity. And apparently, the new friends I mixed with, they are not in the same class with me, so this subject is prolly gonna be difficult for me to handle. This feeling sucks but I need to stand up and be strong in class and prove to them that I'm right. I need to do that.

However, after hearing Lizzie Velasquez's speech on YouTube, I then realized my life isn't that bad after all. I mean like compare to some patients who are fighting for their lives, or maybe some people who are homeless, disabled and so on. I should be grateful that I was given a normal life to live. Yes, I still might feel insecure and all but I will definitely do my best for this semester.

Like what Lizzie Velasquez said "You choose happiness or you choose to give up".
She definitely inspires me a lot, like a true role model.

New beginning, new chapter

"Friendship isn't about how long we know each other, but the sincerity and quality in it." And most importantly, the ones who really meant "I'll back you up and be there for you."

 

 
 



 
 

                                   

Sweetest thing I ever received so far from a friend. So touched. :')

End of chapter

So after a year plus of endurance and tolerance, I have finally raised the white flag. I surrendered. I am tired of compromising the things that ain't worth it. As a friend, I personally feel that I should be treated the same like how we should be treated. I mean, if you call yourself a friend and you feel unsatisfied or anything, speak up. Being stabbed at the back is already bad enough, being accused for doing the things I did not is far worse than that. People told me I have changed so much and the reason why I changed was because too many things had accumulated till the point where I couldn't smile and I became negative.

"We are just tired of being taken for granted. Throughout this whole semester you have contributed nothing." I'm utterly speechless. Sigh. Some people have this perception like they can step on you just because they feel they are better than you. Well, yeah. In the end no matter how much you did, people will not be satisfied. I know I shouldn't have even blogged nor cared about this but I'm just exhausted and sick. Don't get me wrong, I'm totally fine now. I know it ain't worth it being sad or frustrated over this matter. In fact, I'm even more happier because I'm outta this. I chose to end our friendship and I know it's worth it because I don't deserve being mistreated over and over like that as a friend. Maybe a little depressed still, but I'll be fine I promise. The old Sapphire will return soon, in no time.


Moral of the story - No matter how much you do in the end you can't please everyone. Choose your friends wisely, care about those who love you, and be yourself. Also, be genuine and treat others the way you want to be treated.

Monday.. not my day

"If you're a fan of Monday, putcha hands up!.." *nobody responds* See, that's how terrible Monday is. Imagine yourself partying hard on the weekends, and the next day you have to wake up early in the morning for class or work, kills joy isn't it? Well, that's why people tend to have Monday blues and so on. Nuff said. 

So, my Monday was super hectic and depressing at the same time. I had been at the college from morning 11am until 6pm at evening. Can you imagine how crazy hectic that was? I know I'm not the only one, but seriously the college could have manage the schedule much more better. *face palm* At least let us relax and have a little bit of break after the weekends. Well well.. I guess life doesn't always go the way we demand or want it to be. 

Now let's talk about the depressing part, so the reason why I felt depressed was because I noticed that lately I have been lost, like literally. It's like, everyday I wake up and I go to college just for the sake of attendance and good results. It's like imagine yourself waking up everyday going to class for the same intentions and goals, it just kinda makes me bored and lazy after some time. Apart from that I don't really feel the sense of belonging anymore. Like seriously, compared to the beginning of this course, almost everyday I would hang out and do a lot of different activities outdoor. I guess perhaps it's a good thing now for having a distance with the bunch knowing that they did something behind of me before. Maybe this is what it's meant to be. In life, we have to deal with all kinds of things regardless whether it's good or bad. 

Probably now it's the stepping stone for me in order to be able to handle well and much more better in the future. I know this is just temporary, it won't last forever. I just need to be strong and have faith in myself, hopefully I have enough strength and courage to go through all these.. hopefully.